Spring Fever

It's Spring time...despite the weather turning cooler again, in typical ever-changing-Florida fashion. Last week though it was beautiful - the sun and flowers all seemed to know it was time to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ - beauty abounded. 

My mom flew in to visit (ie: lavish the grand-kids with her attention and her love) and the sun smiled down on us as she landed. And when the sun is out in Florida...you do as Floridians do...you go to the beach. :) So we headed to Little Talbot Island and soaked in the rays - it was gorgeous! This is one of my favorite places in northern Florida - each time we go we find the coolest things...this trip we discovered Sand Dollars and a Sea Turtle...last time we found a Clam that was alive and saw a pod of dolphins. If you haven't visited Little Talbot - GO!

Me and my lil' loves....

  Chad and Shepherd were the only two crazy brave enough to dive in - despite the sunshine and beautiful weather, the water was frigid...I'm talkin' GLACIER kinda cold! My feet were numb after stepping in the water for a few minutes - not sure how they handled it but they did with a smile on their faces and loved every second!

Easter Sunday 2013

Linda hosted Easter lunch this year and it was wonderful, as always! I feel so repetitive when blogging about our gatherings at her home, but it's consistently beautiful and the food is consistently healthy and delicious. She's such a gracious hostess and we're always so grateful for the love she pours in to our family. She always adds little extra touches to holidays that somehow make each special occasion feel that much more special. 

 This picture cracked us all up...Linda kept trying to show Lillie where a particular Easter egg was hidden and Lils' was clueless...it took Linda physically grabbing LA's head and turning her directly to the egg for her to find it. If it'd been a snake... ;-)

 Sweet sweet Chase...

Chad fell asleep in this position...seriously wish I could look so stylish while sleeping. ;-)

It was a week of fun...lots of board games and card games, lots of laughter. Feeling grateful today for the special memories made!! I'll end with this picture - it pretty much sums up the whole week and makes me smile each time I see it. :-) The day mom left, the sun went away and the rain clouds brought a cold front...Shepherd said "Gigi took the sun and the fun right back to Arkansas." We miss you already, Gigi!!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Hello, old friend. And how are you?? This sweet, cherished blog of mine has been sadly neglected...so many thoughts and memories I've wanted to jot down...but I find myself completely consumed and swallowed whole by my kitchen these days. And this kitchen of mine that has sucked me in has unfortunately taken my creative mojo,...I've laughed a few times as I've sat in front of this blog of mine with a blank stare, till finally I shrugged my shoulders, patted my computer and promised I'd return another day. I have such little brain matter left for anything else it seems...so much energy spent on not poisoning my 3 year old....so much energy trying to give our older two kids a "normal kitchen" so they don't wind up in counseling one day with nightmares of grain-free meals and resentments of their weird mom who regularly placed strange food in front of them. ;-)

This kitchen of mine that sucked me in does occasionally spit me out throughout the day...long enough for me to ricochet back-n-forth between homeschooling, being a room-mom for Lillie Anna's preschool class, managing the security desk at church and getting the kids to their extra-curricular activities (dance, piano, CBS, and our current sport of choice: soccer....soon to be followed up with football, volleyball and my all-time fave, swim team). My house is a wreck most of the time. End of story.

Chad is still running our business full-time and is seeing it continue to expand...he's a very busy guy but somehow manages to coach and/or assistant coach nearly every sport our kids play. I'm honestly not sure how he does it??...but boy am I grateful!! His presence at practice allows me much needed time at home to...lol...you guessed it...cook.

Our family had a small window of opportunity to travel to Disney a few weeks ago and grabbed it. We're not a crazy spontaneous family...at. all. We can't be! It usually takes me days to pack and prep for a trip due to having to shop, prepare safe snacks and meals for Lils and research safe restaurants along the way that we can stop at if need be. But I knew Disney/Orlando would have plenty of options, plus we're very familiar with the Whole Foods there,...so we packed up our car and headed out. The trip was lovely...we made sweet memories curled up on the couch laughing, and had such a fun time at Magic Kingdom...probably the best Disney trip we've ever made (and I say that with a heart FULL of gratitude!!). Amidst all the fun though, gluten still managed to rear it's ugly head...despite our careful planning and precautions. We ordered a pizza from a local restaurant we had eaten at before that had a delicious gluten-free menu. The last time we ate there, their gluten-free pizza only contained rice flour, so without asking questions, we ordered it and served it to her. Within 20 minutes, she became so violently ill that she couldn't even make it to the toilet. We were cleaning her up for several hours while she clutched her stomach groaning. We contacted the restaurant immediately and were told that their gluten-free menu had changed and that they now use corn starch, whereas before, they did not. It was OUR fault...not theirs...as her parents, it is OUR job to be those "crazy weird annoying assertive, well-informed parents" who ask every single time we call what their food ingredients are. I can't tell you how many times I stroked her hair from her face that evening, looked her in the eyes and told her how sorry I was....we had accidentally and unintentionally poisoned our daughter and she was suffering. Ugly.

It's moments like that where I want to cry, but I don't. Good grief, someone has to be strong for this kid! Someone has to put a smile on her face and tell her it's going to be ok!...someone has to rub her back and look on her with compassion when she can't eat the cupcake her friends are eating...or the birthday cake at the party...or the Easter candy hidden inside each egg...or the snacks at church... This girl is stoic and strong, but I've seen her silently processing her sadness at not being able to eat the treats at school and recently witnessed her push her chair back from a table to crawl in my lap and lay her head on my chest when her peers were chowin' down on yummy b-day cake that she couldn't eat. All I can do is look her in the eyes and tell her it's ok...that I understand and love her more than life itself.

It could be worse, but I tearfully vented to Chad last night that this thing called gluten has consumed every single part of our lives and I hate it. The stress has affected our marriage and caused fights between the two of us that I never thought possible...it's exhausted us and drained us and caused us to worry over things we never in a million years would've imagined we'd worry about. The past few years we've found ourselves snapping at each other over unimportant things, slamming doors and turning our backs on issues that we just didn't have the energy to address. Honestly, we can only handle so much and isn't it in our human nature to try to do it in our own strength?!?! So many times I forget to cry out to God and hand my cares and concerns of this world to Him. I can just imagine Him waiting patiently with his hand outstretched...so ready for us to lift our head and recognize that He is the only One capable of giving us peace that surpasses our understanding. It's like I get sucked in to this vortex and round and round I go...a crazy train that I forget I can get off...all I have to do is drop to my knees and whisper "Jesus...TAKE this.". After 7 years of King Nebuchadnezzar living like an animal in the wilderness, all it took was Him lifting his eyes to the Heavens and acknowledging/understanding who God was, for his crazy train (literally) to come to an abrupt ending and to find restoration in his life and in his kingdom. Thank you God that our crazy train didn't last 7 years!!! Chad and I are out of the vortex...and let me just say -gosh I love this man and his unwillingness to give up...he loves me through and through and has proven that in more ways than I could or would ever share on such a public forum. God heard my soft quiet whispers for grace and instantly...I mean - INSTANTLY He began fortifying our marriage with His strength.

All that to say, gluten has tested us and tried us in so many ways...this goes far beyond a mere allergy. It's affected us all mentally and spiritually and emotionally...it's not just a physical "thing". But God in His continual goodness has not left us stranded or alone. He's given us this online community of families through whom I find encouragement. Fellow grain-free families who candidly share their lives via their blogs...they don't worry over people finding their random "ventings" melo-dramatic or ridiculous...they don't care if people not walking in their shoes simply can't relate or lack compassion. These blogs IMO are like a ministry...they encourage and motivate and build me up. When I read these random ramblings, I'm no longer standing outside a window holding my daughters hand wishing to be included...but rather, I feel I'm sitting at the table of a woman who first of all, has a plethora of food my daughter can eat ;-), and who "gets it"...and I told Chad when and if I get a chance to meet one of these blessings, I'm gonna kiss her right smack on the cheek! ;-)

So this is my life now...my beautiful, crazy, chaotic and...did I mention crazy?...life. I'm overwhelmed on a regular basis but I've learned an invaluable lesson that all I have to do is lift my eyes to God and He will take it....whatever "it" may be. Doesn't mean the allergy disappears...but the guilt and the stress and the angst...poof...be gone. :-) I love my husband, I love my children and I'm continually accepting and learning to love our new way of life. For those of you who are tired of hearing about gluten, I get it...I am too! lol! But in accepting our life, I am finding the courage to speak out on what it looks like. The good, the bad and the ugly. This is me...take it or leave it. :)

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
-Teddy Roosevelt

Christmas Eve with the Easons

The Eason's have a tradition of spending Christmas Eve at Callaway Garden's in Georgia, but this year we decided to stay home for the holidays. We knew we wanted to continue our tradition of being together as a family, so for Christmas Eve, we went to Chad's parents house. I'm soooooo on a roll with my camera the past few days ;-p, so I snapped a few pics before we headed out the door. 

Shep putting his photography skills to practice again ;-)

The girls gravitate to Jenny and spend every moment practically attached to her hip...they're so blessed to have her in their life!!  

The part of the evening our kids were itchin' for...the presents. 

Linda's house is always cozy and charming, but at Christmas time, it makes me sigh...it's so magical! Every room has a loving touch added to it with Christmas quilts, cinnamon candles and a country/cottage charm that Linda does beautifully. I absolutely love her style...

Linda gave each of the girls an apron to wear while they assisted her with dinner preparations...they kept them on all evening. And dinner??...oh my. It was a feast fit for a King! 5 hours later and I'm still stuffed.

Linda had prepared a special activity for her and the grand kids. She took them outside for a while and when it was dark, the kids called us outside to walk down the windy driveway which was lit with beautiful candle luminaries. 

We ended the evening with a Charlie Brown Christmas and waved goodbye to prepare cookies for Santa...the kids are all snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug and are fast asleep. Shep has already told us he's setting his alarm clock so as to not sleep in tomorrow morning...as if that's necessary. ;-) 

Thank you again, Dennis and Linda for planning such a special evening for our family! We love y'all!

Merry Christmas Eve, from our hearts to yours! 

Appreciation

Disclaimer: I print my blog and make it in to books, so from time to time I dote on my kiddo's - I want to remember their idiosyncrasies that make them unique . This is one of those times. :-) 

We're on Christmas break and for the first time in a long time, we've been basking in family time! It may seem as if homeschooling would allot for plenty of family time, and it's true that we do spend a lot of time together. But, most days are spent going from one subject or activity to the next...and many days I feel like I hardly even looked at the kids...you know...really really looked at them with appreciation. So for me personally, the past few days have been spent basking in their freckles, their goofy big teeth (which will most definitely require braces before long...), their chipmunk cheeks and their awesome personalities. It's been wonderful...lots of cuddling on the couch, dancing in the living room to Christmas carols, leisurely meals around the kitchen table and snuggling under the blankets until mid-morning. 

I know I usually lean towards sarcasm - humor and sarcasm helps me get through each chaotic/stressful day! But the past few days have involved pure unadulterated joy in my babies children. I love them. I'm grateful for them. I'm proud of them. And I'm enjoying them tremendously!!

Lillie Anna...the runt of our group. I think right now she is bringing us the most joy...laughter and smiles are a by-product of being in her company. Who needs television when you have Lillie Anna?! ;-) We all remember the misery and suffering she experienced less than a year ago before we knew what was causing her to be so ill. So to see her blossoming and developing both physically, emotionally and spiritually, brings us so much joy...sometimes I look at her and feel as if my heart could burst. Gluten-sensitivity has been her miracle diagnosis that has given her (and subsequently, our family) the gift of healing and peace, but she's so much more than a Celiac diagnosis! She's  our accessory lovin', nail polish paintin', joke tellin', mischief maker who finds joy in singing loudly and making others smiles...we absolutely adore her!!

Singing "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm tellin' you why..."

Shepherd...my mini-me. :-) He's the first to offer to carry groceries inside for me and is the first to attempt to make peace between his sisters when they bicker. I've told the kids many times that being a peacemaker is one of the biggest gifts they could give their momma' and he's taken that to heart! He's just a good boy...I've been around enough children to know that his sweet spirit should be appreciated! He's not perfect, but he's so teachable and desires to please. Compliant and easy going...and a rule follower to a fault (sorry Shep, you got that from me...). He came in to our room a few weeks ago with his phone and with tears in his eyes, he confessed to Chad and I that he had been playing games on it for 10 minutes each night that week (this was against the rules). He was wiping tears from his eyes as he told us that "a phone being kept in his room at night was just too much responsibility". <> So we agreed to keep his phone in our room at night to remove the temptation. ;-) Super sweet and I LOVE his honest heart that is tender enough to be convicted! He still never stops moving...but we're beginning to see his constant motion and high energy serve him well as he exceeds in sports and as he channels his energy in to studies. Deeply proud of this lil' guy...who's not so little anymore...I'm betting in two years he'll be taller than his Meemaw. ;-) 

And our Rauly-girl. I saved Rauly for last because she makes me think. I can easily define Lillie and Shepherd's personality, but Rauly in many ways is my mystery child. She's takes me off guard on a regular basis (and I mean that in a good way). She's feisty and spunky and confident. She doesn't know a stranger and I have to watch her like a hawk in public places because no amount of warnings seem to prevent her from gravitating to people she doesn't know. Her feistiness shows through in her temperament and her ability to go from happy to run-fast-or-I-will-kick-the-fire-outa-you in .2 seconds continues to crack us up...Chad and I have said many times that Rauly is a very. easy. target. when it comes to pushing her buttons. ;-) Chad relates very easily to her. Which is a blessing because so often I find myself unsure of how to handle her temperament but when I look to Chad with a deer in the headlights look, he can immediately take over...because he "gets her". She's the first to pop a gasket when she's mad, but she's also the first to offer forgiveness when I've offended or hurt her. She's the first to "play the victim" with her siblings which in the past has made me worry about insecurities, but she's the first to rush over to hug her old friends or walk in to a group of strangers to make new friends. When she's in her comfort zone, she's over-flowing with personality and "spunk" but is also an extremely calm child...sits still and speaks softly (usually) and that my friends is something I REALLY appreciate these days... She's tough as nails and rarely cries, but she's the first to feel compassion for others when they're sick or in pain. These are just a few examples of why I say she's a walking contradiction and often leaves me scratching my head. But I couldn't be prouder of her and am thankful for the ways she stretches me as a parent. She's a special and unique little girl and I love the layers that make her who she is!!

These three children light up my life!! 

Preschool Christmas Program 

Lillie's Christmas Chapel and Party were last week...such a special day for her and our family! It was her first time to experience a "program" and so our family got the biggest kick out of seeing it all through her eyes. The excitement and wonder of all the children was ridiculously cute!! Chad and I are soaking in these moments...it is passing so quickly and this little girl brings us so much pleasure. She makes us laugh and causes our hearts to swell. So grateful God gave us this lil' one to complete our family! 

Mrs. Frances (our teacher who we dearly love!!) with her class of cutie's...this sweet group sang their hearts out and were so well behaved throughout the entire program. I can't say enough good things about the children and families who make up Lillie's class. We're blessed!

Mrs. Knotts (the music teacher/chapel leader)

Genuine enthusiasm and joy!!!

Getting love from her big sis :-)

Chick-Fil-A gluten-free nuggets and grain-free cupcakes were part of the festivities...

Shep and Rauly were helpers to Mrs. Frances. They helped entertain the children while the parents visited and assisted in passing out all the food. Also helped with set-up and clean up before and after the party...I was grateful they could be there to make some sweet memories with their lil' sis.

Hustle bustle to and fro!

                    Shepherd stepped up this morning and volunteered his photography services. :-) 

It's Christmas time and we're hustling and bustling to and fro. It seems I can't hardly keep up with life anymore, much less pictures! My camera has sat in its bag for months without me even pulling it out...the thing wasn't even brought to Arkansas. Needless to say, my IPhone camera has been my saving grace when it comes to documenting special events in our family's lives. But, this morning the stars aligned and we were all dressed and ready for church with a few minutes to spare. That my friends is a modern-day miracle. ;-) So I grabbed my camera, dusted it off and snapped a few pics. Seeing as how pictures from our camera are so rare, I figured I'd post them to our poor neglected blog.

I miss my camera. I miss my blog. And I really. really. miss feeling like I'm organized and on top of things. Seriously, every closet in our house looks like the Berenstain Bears closet. My car is covered in toys and mismatched shoes. And the laundry...oooooh the laundry. I've gotten to a place in my life in which I'm ok with chaos, and I'm ok with messes. Good grief, I have to be...I have 3 young kids for goodness sake! But the level of disorder I'm currently living in is pushing my limits and making me twitch. To all of you organized folk out there who have clean grout between your tiles and actual folded panties in your undies drawer, I hate you....good for you! ;-p

This is life though. And honestly, after the tragedy and horror in Connecticut this week, I've tried to look at my chaos through a different lens. I know each of those families would give anything in this world to have their child back in their lives making messes. (sigh)

I wish I had things of interest to say, but honestly, life is pretty ordinary these days and I find God telling me daily to find contentment in that. The most exciting moments are when I see a light bulb going off while teaching a new concept in one of our school subjects (and I don't mean to minimize those moments because they are HUGE and bring me so much joy!!), and the moments spent on the football/soccer fields or b-ball courts when magic happens and scores are made or blocked (again, don't mean to minimize those moments because those too are HUGE and light me up from the inside out!!).  Between homeschooling, Community Bible Study, the kids sports and play dates, our days stay filled. Most evenings I fall in to bed and realize I hadn't sat down all day except while driving. I do good to eat before 1pm, and that's usually grabbing a few pieces of my kids discarded lunch. I've become the quintessential stay-at-home mom....the one who ricochets back-n-forth between the dishwasher, washing machine, fridge and car...cleaning things, cooking things and driving things, er, kids. Most days I'm energetic and bouncing through my day just fine, until it's time to tuck the kids in bed...and as I bend over to kiss their cheeks, I realize how ready I am to tuck myself in to bed!

The kids continue to be good students and we're breezin' through our school year. Having said that, I fluctuate between thinking I could do this for the rest of my life, and moments of thinking my friends should shoot me if I ever say I'll home school again. ;-) It's an all-consuming commitment that requires a lot of planning, energy, patience, and passion. Planning, energy and passion I've got!...patience...well, I struggle in that dept just a tad-bit. But, nevertheless, we're truckin' along and making good progress.

And YAY, our Christmas shopping is done and presents are wrapped. The lil' stinker in the pic below seems to think she's getting a puppy for Christmas. Poor lil' love,...not happenin'. Oh, and remember how I mentioned I'm falling behind on things?...well, this blog post is as close as we'll get to a Christmas card this year. I'll do better next year! :-) SO, from our hearts to yours........

          Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!!

                                                 The kids, giving me their "Silly Lillie" faces... ;-)

Happy 7th birthday, Rauly!! You continue to keep us on our toes and we can't imagine life wihout you. We love your tender heart, the sparkle in your eyes, your contagious laughter and your sweet spirit. May you always know how deeply loved and valued you are!!

 

Chad has reminded me from time to time (during moments when I was home sick) "Linds, home is here...in Florida...with me and the kids." And I've nodded my head in agreement (because of course he's right - my home is where my immediate family is, without a doubt) - yet every time I refer to Arkansas, the word "home" flows from my lips. I say it, than grimace and quickly follow it up with "oh ya know,...my childhood home.". But truth be told, Arkansas will forever be a home to me. I grew up there. I know what lies over each and every hill. I know where the river flows. I've learned to read the clouds and know when the leaves turn silver, rain is soon to follow. I have unconditional love waiting for me in Little Rock like a beacon on a dark night...and I won't lie that during a rare moment of pain or sadness or loneliness, my heart aches for my 1st home. College, falling in love, getting married, the birth of our first child, purchasing our first home...all of this took place in Arkansas. So I think it's safe to say I have two homes...Florida and Arkansas. I'm a lucky girl. :-)

We went home ;-p for Thanksgiving. It's our annual tradition that we've all grown to love. The family and familiar surroundings we adore...the drive, not so much. ;-) It took us 17 hours to drive there...17 hours to drive back. Lawd have mercy, but that was BRUTAL! The kids were wonderful - truly! But 17 hours is tough. It's always worth it though. Why?

Because of this:

this....

and this...

 

We made many special memories! This was Lillie Anna's first year to eat a gluten-free Thanksgiving meal. My mom spent countless hours and dollars planning and preparing this meal so that Mike (my step-dad who has Celiac Disease) and Lillie Anna could eat everything that was served. And let me tell you - it was delicious!!! Nobody can say that gluten-free means taste-free. Every single item was yummm-mmmy! Tears sprang to my eyes watching LA enjoy rolls, and dressing, and desserts. It's so enjoyable to watch her eat and not be sick afterwards - makes my heart sing. Thank you for that gift, mom!

 

Chad and I were very limited on what we could do that week...several trips to Searcy, Beebe and Cabot kept us occupied when we weren't at my mom's house. Unfortunately we weren't able to see any friends :-(, but we did have a really special time with my family. A few days were spent at my dad and Judy's new home and we enjoyed a b-fast at Cracker Barrel the morning we were heading out of town. Lots of football throwing and soccer playing took place in their huge yard...one of the perks of living in the country! The kids always enjoy their time with Papa and Judy - thankful we got to spend quality time with them on their "off" days.

 

 

My Uncle Craig and Lauren drove up from Louisiana to be with us - something we were all grateful for! These two hold a very very special place in my heart. My Uncle calls me on a regular basis to see how me and the family are doing...never misses a birthday...and is the type of man who wants you to KNOW how loved and special you are. Since he left to go back to Louisiana, he's texted and FB mssged me (yep, he's cool like that) to tell me that he's already missing my ragamuffins. I'm deeply blessed to have an uncle as kind and thoughtful as he is. Not only that, but he's just a cool guy. Successful in every area of his life,...vivacious and outgoing...he lives life to the fullest and is optimistic about everything. A total go-getter. He's a good example to me and I have tremendous respect for him.

And Lauren?...my sweet "baby" cousin. :-) She's grown in to a GORGEOUS young lady who (much like her daddy) is successful at everything she strives for. I couldn't be prouder of her and am so thankful for the time we had last week to visit and catch up. Love you, Lauren!!

 

Our tradition of seeing the Twilight movies came to an end this year. Kinda sad! My mom, Lauren and I have had a lot of fun seeing these movies together in the theater each Thanksgiving. Now I guess we'll have to find a new series to get hooked on!

 

On our last day there, Chad and I took the kids to Natural Steps Baptist Church. This is where we were married...it's right down the road from Pinnacle Mountain so we let the kids play at the base of the mountain before heading back.

 

 

Overall, it was a great trip! Here's a few snapshots of memories made...

 

 

Thanks, mom for ALL you do. We love you, appreciate you and look forward to next year!!